{"id":11904,"date":"2016-12-16T12:04:11","date_gmt":"2016-12-16T12:04:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/remstim.de\/overcome-heartbreak-faster-with-emdr-how-we-can-bear-it-more-easily\/"},"modified":"2023-09-14T15:57:25","modified_gmt":"2023-09-14T15:57:25","slug":"overcome-heartbreak-faster-with-emdr-how-we-can-bear-it-more-easily","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/remstim.com\/en\/overcome-heartbreak-faster-with-emdr-how-we-can-bear-it-more-easily\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcome heartbreak faster with EMDR – how we can bear it more easily"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Overcome<\/p>\n

As we cope with our heartbreak, there is much we can do to make it more bearable.<\/h1>\n

Heartbreak is indisputably one of the most unbearable feelings a person can experience. The pain is deep in the heart, anchored in the chest. In general, one feels unwell, weary and infinitely sad. Everything loses its meaning and there is almost nothing worth getting up for in the morning. One feels lonely and abandoned, misunderstood, begins to doubt oneself. If you’re not careful, the spiral keeps going down. Heartbreak can take on so many different facets and each time it feels a little different. No one wishes to experience the heartbreak. The pain of love hits you exactly where it hurts the most: in the heart and often also in the mind, because doubts about oneself and one’s own view of the world can also be part of a pronounced heartbreak.<\/p>\n

You’d love to grab the heartbreak, bury it deep in a safe, and double lock the door so it just never comes out. That would do quite well initially, but at some point we have to get it out again and face our task. Heartbreak needs to be processed, our heart needs to be allowed to heal.<\/p>\n

Take heartbreak for granted!<\/h2>\n

\"OvercomeHeartbreak is an important part of any breakup<\/a>. Without it, we are deprived of the possibility of closure. The pain of separation helps us look deep within ourselves, process our broken relationships, and bring closure with our ex-partner. As painful as the feeling is, it still has to be lived through and endured. Only in this way can we make peace with the love that has passed and, more importantly, with ourselves.<\/p>\n

Generally, heartbreak can be divided into five phases<\/a>. The first phase<\/a> begins before the separation<\/a> and makes itself felt with the first premonitions that we like to deny. The second phase<\/a> follows, which can basically be compared to a punch in the face or stomach – the partner expresses the desire for a separation. In the third phase<\/a> we begin to negotiate, because we do not want to lose the beloved partner at any price in the world. We then move into the fourth phase<\/a> and respond with an admission or even anger. The final phase is the fifth<\/a>, in which we accept what has happened or we are close to despair.<\/p>\n

To overcome heartbreak, it is advisable to go through all the stages. It is helpful if we get involved with each phase. Because only in this way can we face the tasks of the respective phase. The goal, of course, is to check off the last phase once we get over our love pain. Only then will we have conquered the heartache over the loss of the past relationship; and if we have devoted ourselves carefully and persistently enough to the tasks of the 5 phases<\/a>, we will perhaps also have cleansed our hearts of all the relationships and lost ex-partners that we have also gone through before. Because our emotional memory<\/a> stores all the disappointments and losses of the past deep within us.<\/p>\n\t\t

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Read also:<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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\"Wie<\/div>\n\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tHow Somatic Markers Influence Our Lives\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t
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Somatic markers make themselves felt with the help of body reactions of varying intensity It is often observed that one situation (external stimulus) only triggers some goose bumps, while another<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\tRead more \u00bb\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tSomatic markers form our body memory\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t
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Somatic markers are a term for an endogenous signaling system. To better understand how EMDR works, it is very helpful to take a closer look at the renowned somatic marker<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\tRead more \u00bb\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\"Wie<\/div>\n\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tHow Somatic Markers Influence Our Lives\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t
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Somatic markers make themselves felt with the help of body reactions of varying intensity It is often observed that one situation (external stimulus) only triggers some goose bumps, while another<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\tRead more \u00bb\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t

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\"Somatisch\"<\/div>\n\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tSomatic markers form our body memory\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t
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Somatic markers are a term for an endogenous signaling system. To better understand how EMDR works, it is very helpful to take a closer look at the renowned somatic marker<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\tRead more \u00bb\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n

 <\/p>\n

A new partnership with another person has the greatest chance of making us happy and satisfied if we free our body memory<\/a> from old painful memories. Because our lived relationship patterns are a consequence of these memories.<\/p>\n

For this we need not only time, but also patience. There is no way around it, the only path leads through it. If we do not want to follow this path now, we will have to do so at a later time. Maybe as soon as the next relationship ends because we started it (repeatedly) prematurely with all our emotional baggage. When it comes to overcoming heartbreak, our body memory is hard to trick.<\/p>\n

However, we can help ourselves or be helped. With the help of EMDR in coaching<\/a> or self-coaching<\/a> we can fulfill our tasks of the individual phases more consciously, in order to cope with the pain of separation<\/a> thus faster and to get through it more stress-free.<\/p>\n

Grief may be allowed!<\/h3>\n

As painful as it is and as much as we try to resist it – the heartache may and should be allowed. Mourning the love that has passed is the task of phase 5<\/a>. Let us remember that heartbreak is something natural. After all, you have lost a loved one. However, you have to face these feelings, even if you would prefer to fight them tooth and nail.<\/p>\n

How one grieves is entirely up to the individual’s own needs. If we feel strong enough, we can also consciously amplify our grief<\/a> at special moments for a set duration (perhaps 60 minutes; not too long):<\/p>\n