{"id":27613,"date":"2025-09-24T11:18:26","date_gmt":"2025-09-24T11:18:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/remstim.com\/when-guilt-blocks-your-emdr-process-and-how-to-deal-with-it\/"},"modified":"2025-09-24T11:18:26","modified_gmt":"2025-09-24T11:18:26","slug":"when-guilt-blocks-your-emdr-process-and-how-to-deal-with-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/remstim.com\/en\/when-guilt-blocks-your-emdr-process-and-how-to-deal-with-it\/","title":{"rendered":"When Guilt Blocks your EMDR Process \u2013 and how to Deal with It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/te5h5bZa2v0?rel=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"430\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"><\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2>Between Inner Resistance and Healing Change \u2013 how You Deal with Guilt in EMDR<\/h2>\n<p>Guilt is one of the emotional landscapes that has a particularly deep and multi-layered effect. It influences your <a href=\"https:\/\/remstim.com\/das-eigene-selbstbild-selbstvertrauen-staerken-post-for-site\/\">self-image<\/a>, your ability to trust yourself \u2013 and often your path in <a href=\"https:\/\/remstim.com\/emdr-prozess-8-phasen\/\">EMDR processing<\/a>. Many people find that they work emotionally and mentally with a distressing memory, but as soon as it comes to allowing a positive thought, something blocks it. In this article, we take a close look: Why guilt causes this block, what the classic EMDR process involves \u2013 and how you can still make progress in self-coaching.   <\/p>\n<h3>1. What is guilt \u2013 and where are its roots?<\/h3>\n<p>Guilt often arises from the feeling of having done something wrong, of having violated one&#8217;s own values \u2013 or because things didn&#8217;t go the way you would have liked. They can result from actual events, from expectations that were never met, or from inner images of how it <em>should have been<\/em>. Sometimes they are rooted deep in experiences in which you felt responsible \u2013 be it for your own life or the well-being of others.  <\/p>\n<p>This guilt is rarely purely rational. It has emotional, moral and often physical components: a pull in the stomach, a lump in the throat, sleepless nights. It is not just a thought process \u2013 it is connected to your whole system.  <\/p>\n<h3>2. The classic EMDR procedure \u2013 and what the third phase means<\/h3>\n<p>Before we look at self-coaching, it is helpful to understand the procedure in classic EMDR \u2013 especially phase 3, the so-called <strong>assessment phase<\/strong>. <\/p>\n<p>In phase 3, the following happens:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You will be invited to remember the distressing memory \u2013 the most disturbing image, that situation that carries the most pain for you.<\/li>\n<li>You name the <strong>negative cognition<\/strong> (NC): the distressing sentence that is connected to the memory, e.g. &#8220;I am to blame&#8221;, &#8220;I was powerless&#8221; or &#8220;I failed&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>Then a <strong>positive cognition<\/strong> (PC) should be formulated: &#8220;What would you rather think about yourself?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>The PC is evaluated with the <strong>VoC scale<\/strong> (1 = unbelievable, 7 = completely believable).<\/li>\n<li>The emotional degree of distress is determined \u2013 with the <strong>SUD scale<\/strong> (0 = no distress, 10 = maximum distress).<\/li>\n<li>Then you describe your <strong>body sensations<\/strong>: Where do you feel the feelings?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This phase is crucial because it lays the foundation for phase 4 \u2013 the actual processing.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Why guilt makes it so difficult to allow a positive cognition<\/h3>\n<p>Guilt is not a problem that simply disappears. It has a profound effect because it combines several psychological dynamics: <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Ambivalence:<\/strong> Rationally, you may know that you were not responsible. Emotionally, however, you hold on to inner images. <\/li>\n<li><strong>Self-protection:<\/strong> Guilt creates a feeling of control. You believe: If I am to blame, I could have changed it. <\/li>\n<li><strong>Bonding:<\/strong> Guilt can connect you internally with people who have been harmed.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Familiarity:<\/strong> Guilt is often old, known, familiar. The new seems foreign, even threatening. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>4. Self-protection \u2013 not a mistake, but an important indication<\/h3>\n<p>The inner resistance is not a sign of weakness, but of a functioning self-protection system. Your body, your psyche want to protect you. When feelings of guilt become visible, it is a sign: You are ready to find a new way of dealing with them.  <\/p>\n<h3>5. How an experienced therapist can help<\/h3>\n<p>In professional EMDR sessions, targeted questions, empathetic support and structured processes help to develop a positive thought that feels <em>coherent<\/em>. Especially with guilt, this process is complex and requires tact. <\/p>\n<h3>6. How does it work differently in self-coaching?<\/h3>\n<p>In self-coaching, the therapeutic follow-up questions are omitted. That&#8217;s why I adapted my own EMDR self-coaching model: <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The classic phase 3 is deliberately simplified.<\/li>\n<li>After feeling the image, the emotion and the body reaction, you can go directly into processing.<\/li>\n<li>Only afterwards is a <strong>first positive thought<\/strong> invited.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This thought does not have to be perfect, logical or appropriate. It may seem banal or even absurd: <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;My kettle looks like a duck.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;My houseplant always leans to the same side.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I remember the sound of gravel under my shoes.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These seemingly unrelated thoughts can trigger a quiet smile. And that is exactly the beginning. The beginning of an inner movement.  <\/p>\n<h3>7. Practical impulses: What you can do concretely<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Feel your body \u2013 perceive the stress without judgment.<\/li>\n<li>Name the image, thought, feeling and body sensation.<\/li>\n<li>Formulate a first positive thought \u2013 or simply take what comes spontaneously.<\/li>\n<li>Repeat this thought if it feels good. Let it work. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Read the instructions for EMDR self-coaching: <a href=\"https:\/\/remstim.com\/in-6-schritten-selbstcoachen-mit-dem-remstim-3000\/download-der-anleitung-zum-selbstcoachen-in-6-schritten\/\">Download the instructions for EMDR self-coaching in 6 steps<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>8. Why this is important for your path<\/h3>\n<p>If you get stuck in phase 3, phase 4 never begins. By simplifying the self-coaching, you enable yourself to take the next step \u2013 even without a perfect answer. It&#8217;s not about conviction, it&#8217;s about permission. A quiet thought like: &#8220;I am allowed to continue differently&#8221; can change everything.   <\/p>\n<h3>9. Summary and invitation<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Recognize the effect of guilt.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t formulate a perfect sentence \u2013 but one that feels just a little lighter.<\/li>\n<li>Trust that the first thought is enough. It sets you in motion. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you allow yourself to think a new thought, then that is not a betrayal, but an act of inner responsibility \u2013 the responsibility for the most important person in your life: <strong>for yourself<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Between Inner Resistance and Healing Change \u2013 how You Deal with Guilt in EMDR Guilt is one of the emotional landscapes that has a particularly deep and multi-layered effect. It influences your self-image, your ability to trust yourself \u2013 and often your path in EMDR processing. Many people find that they work emotionally and mentally [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27596,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1524],"tags":[1582,1581,1580],"class_list":["post-27613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emdr-conversational-hour","tag-cognition-en","tag-debt","tag-guilt"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>When Guilt Blocks your EMDR Process \u2013 and how to Deal with It - EMDR Ger\u00e4t REMSTIM 3000 gegen Stress<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/remstim.com\/en\/when-guilt-blocks-your-emdr-process-and-how-to-deal-with-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When Guilt Blocks your EMDR Process \u2013 and how to Deal with It - EMDR Ger\u00e4t REMSTIM 3000 gegen Stress\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Between Inner Resistance and Healing Change \u2013 how You Deal with Guilt in EMDR Guilt is one of the emotional landscapes that has a particularly deep and multi-layered effect. 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