Among the stress factors of everyday life, our fellow human beings rank right at the top.
Other people are perfectly capable of throwing us off balance and stressing us out. Who doesn’t know him, the boss you can never please or the neighbor who likes to party at night and deprives us of our sleep. But just as people can annoy us, others have the ability to save us from stress.
The American neuroendocrinologist Bruce McEwen investigated the issue. He is considered one of the leading stress researchers of our time. He describes the psychological permanent burden of stress on our body as “allostatic load”. The decisive factor here is the persistent loss of inner balance, inner calm, homeostasis. Homeostasis describes the state under normal circumstances when we experience no orbital moments, make no adjustments to circumstances, and simply are while nothing special is happening. In this case, all neuronal, hormonal and cardiovascular processes in the body are in a normal state. If we are challenged and our organism has to adapt to changing conditions, McEwen speaks of allostasis.
Nothing new is the information that our brain is the crucial stress organ. Significant reactions are triggered by our brain that put our body on heightened alert. This is because our brain interprets our environment and judges what is happening around us. Already the Greek philosopher Epictetus proclaimed almost 2000 years ago that “it is not the things that trouble us, but the opinions we have of things.”
An important function is given to a region of our brain called the hippocampus; it takes care of storing and remembering daily events. During continuous stress, our memory capacity is reduced to the extreme. The process of neurogenesis is also severely impaired. Thus, the hippocampus stops developing new neurons and connections under stressful circumstances. Those who are permanently stressed literally become “dumber”.
Fortunately, however, the opposite development can also be observed. Stress and its consequences can be combated with helpful countermeasures. Thus, regular physical activities such as jogging, cycling or fast walking and also other sports help; they significantly improve neurogenesis.
Self-coaching with EMDR addresses the stressor directly.
Some practice is still required for self-coaching, albeit little, as under stress, taking countermeasures can be perceived as additional stress. The simpler the help, the better. And for this purpose, the EMDR goggles REMSTIM 3000 are particularly suitable for overcoming inner hurdles. Just put it on and “click”. 2-3 applications and usually the first exuberant wave of emotions is smoothed out. Taking a deep breath is possible again. Now the work can be continued in a targeted manner. The first question of a self-coaching session is then, “What moves you most in this moment?“(more).
Using the 6 steps of EMDR self-coaching, we are able to identify and work on the stressor immediately and directly. Here it is important to understand that this does not have to be a particularly stressful issue. In fact, it is precisely the small but numerous “good mood disturbers” of everyday life that spoil our enjoyment of the day. And that’s why it’s all the more important that we don’t ignore those little emotional troublemakers, but grab them by the horns and tackle them. Because you are the connection to our great “themes”, which secretly gain access to our daily lives through them. The more of these small traces of stress we detect and neutralize in self-coaching and “reintegrate” into our personality as harmless experience, the more we uncover the path to the roots of our stresses. And then, when we are ready, we take them on.
However, it is not possible to do it completely without stress. On the one hand, it can never be completely avoided; on the other hand, it is vital, enabling us to tackle problems and solve them, to concentrate, focus and fight for what is important to us. Toxic and damaging to our health, McEwen refers to stress that doesn’t stop because, for example, our circumstances are chaotic, we live in poverty, or we are subject to neglect or abuse. Ongoing simmering conflicts exacerbate our sense of stress. It becomes increasingly dangerous when we are exposed to these situations and do not experience social support. Fellow human beings who support us and show compassion make stress more bearable. Without encouragement, the burden of stressors can become overwhelming. In this respect, exclusion and mobbing are often stress factors with a high potential to cause illness.
Certainly, our social environment often first causes “allostatic load”, for example, through interpersonal conflicts, competition at work, disputes between neighbors and partners, or concern for our loved ones. But how could it be otherwise. We are social beings. Therefore, our good social contacts can provide us with the affection, friendship, collegiality, and protective community we desperately need to make stress bearable. Our knowledge of the support we have in a strengthened community makes us more resistant to stress.
Already Hans Selye, creator of the stress concept advised to strive for the affection of our fellow human beings in order to be able to face the stress of our fast-moving world in a stronger way.
In this respect, self-coaching is the tool of choice to meet ourselves. We are, as it were, striving for ourselves, for our own affection for ourselves. Self-coaching is not only intervention but also prophylaxis. Regular use of the EMDR device REMSTIM 3000 in moments when no acute issue is pressing increases stress resistance and provides a strengthened emotional backbone in stressful situations. Frequently observed: the flexibility of our eye movements increases, as does the flexibility of our mental constitution. Our mental balance becomes more balanced. We find our own inner peace more and more often and faster and faster.
