To change the habit of repeatedly putting things off, it’s worth taking a closer look at the moment right before you avoid the task. If you’re missing information or a realistic plan, that’s where you should start. If, on the other hand, a clear task triggers fear, shame, or physical tension, you can also work on addressing that specific reaction. EMDR Self-Coaching is one possible approach for manageable everyday issues; what matters next is the actual next step you take.
Your scheduled work block starts at nine. You’ve decided to finally work on the overdue cost summary. The documents are ready. Still, your cursor wanders to your inbox first. Then you open your messages. When you look at the clock again, half an hour has gone by.
You know how it goes. Setting up a calendar block was already your third attempt to do things differently. The next app would once again tell you when to start. What it hasn’t shown you yet is the moment when you hesitate inside.
Change the obstacle that actually exists
Before moving on to the next step, check whether it’s even possible to start the work as planned. Do you have the necessary documents? Do you know what to do first? Does the scope of the work fit within the time available? If any of these requirements are missing, add it to the task list.
Even familiar distractions can be tackled practically at first: Turn off notifications, close unnecessary windows, and prepare your materials. You don’t have to rationalize every interruption emotionally. What matters most is your internal reaction when the task is clear and you still find yourself avoiding it regularly.
Then, exercising more self-discipline can feel like stepping on the gas with the handbrake on. You’re pushing yourself harder without paying attention to what’s holding you back at the starting line. To make a change, you need something more specific than “I really need to pull myself together.”
Capture your personal tipping point
Look back at a specific time when you started working. What stressful moment comes right before the distraction? Focus on what you actually notice. Maybe the file name of the cost overview is enough. Immediately, the thought pops into your head: “It’s not going to work out again.” Your stomach tightens, you lean back, and you open your messages.
Briefly note this sequence: trigger, thought, feeling, physical sensation, and the subsequent avoidance. If you can’t identify a specific emotion, note that as well. Don’t add an explanation later just to make the observation seem complete.
The next few times this happens, see if the pattern repeats itself. Maybe the tension only arises when you think about being asked to explain your results. Perhaps this tendency to avoid tasks is particularly evident when you’re trying to catch up on past work. This way, you can narrow down the pattern instead of questioning your entire work approach every time you’ve wasted a morning.
Choose a scene that you can edit
The tipping point shows you what triggers the stress: for example, glancing at the file name and thinking, “It’s not going to work out again.” This specific scene—with its thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations—forms the focus of EMDR self-coaching.
If you can keep this moment manageable and distance yourself from it, it can be addressed as a topic for EMDR self-coaching. The work focuses on the specific stressor at the turning point. It does not require you to identify a traumatic cause or work through all your past failures.
Prepare for such a session deliberately, allowing plenty of time and following a familiar, well-rehearsed routine. Under the pressure of “I have to function immediately afterward,” it’s easy for another performance expectation to arise. Thomas Buhl, a naturopathic practitioner specializing in psychotherapy as well as an EMDR and trauma therapist, has developed the six-step EMDR self-coaching method. His book and video tutorial explain the process; the overview helps you identify your specific issue.
- Determine the topic: Choose a clearly defined starting point, such as the moment you first look at the file. A sentence that stands out serves as a point of reference, not as a judgment that you must accept.
- Recognizing Emotions: Notice your current emotional response and assess its intensity. This provides a starting point for comparison later on.
- Pay attention to your physical sensations: Notice whether and where the stress is making itself felt physically, without trying to force a sensation.
- Processing: In the procedure you have learned, the topic is associated with rapid, guided eye movements. Between sections, you observe what changes.
- Check for lingering feelings: Notice what remains when you revisit the topic.
- Anchoring positive thoughts: Focus on what feels natural and positive after you’ve processed your thoughts. A pre-written motivational phrase doesn’t belong here.
You may pause or stop at any time. If you feel overwhelmed, lose your sense of the here and now, or are unable to calm down, stop the self-practice and seek support. Highly distressing or traumatic content, as well as clinical symptoms, require a professional setting. Persistent high levels of stress are not a reason to continue indefinitely.
Test the change using a real-life scenario
After a session, you can take a moment to reflect on how the chosen starting point is affecting you now. Has anything changed in terms of how you feel or your physical sensations? Even if you notice some relief, that doesn’t mean the cost overview is complete.
For the next work block, choose a small, tangible action: transfer the first existing invoice to the overview. Don’t complete the entire billing process; instead, actually carry out a meaningful part of it. This allows you to check whether it has become easier to get started on the task. Self-coaching and hands-on work serve different purposes here.
If the avoidance returns, check where it starts this time. Is any information missing now? Is it the same expectation that’s coming up, or a different one? A difficult start again does not mean that everything is the same as before, nor does it mean you should simply do more EMDR.
If this pattern continues to significantly impact large parts of your daily life, it may be helpful to seek counseling or undergo a psychotherapeutic evaluation. A drive for perfection or recurring self-deprecation may also require more targeted treatment than general tips for overcoming procrastination.
In the case of an acute case of procrastination, you may need additional, immediate help to get started. To break the recurring pattern, however, combine observation, appropriate inner work, and concrete action. Now set a realistic next step for when you’ll start working, and define the first task in such concrete terms that you can later say, “I’ve taken this step.”
