Self-doubt when faced with new professional responsibilities calls for a close look at the task at hand: If there is a lack of training, authority, or expertise, these issues must be addressed. If the task is manageable, but simply taking it on triggers thoughts like “I’m not good enough for this” and an urge to withdraw, then EMDR self-coaching can address this specific, everyday stressor. It does not address the responsibility itself and is no substitute for a realistic assessment of your abilities.
For the first time, your name appears under “Responsible” in the project plan. Until now, you’ve been delivering the results. Now you’re expected to lead the technical coordination and advocate for a recommendation. You’re familiar with the topic, but when you look at the new line, you immediately think of your more experienced colleague.
You’d really like to tell her to take it on instead. Maybe just the thought of it makes your voice grow quieter, and your shoulders tense up. You haven’t even examined any specific difficulties yet. Still, it feels as if this new task has exposed a mistake: people expect more from you than you’re capable of.
What does “responsible” mean in this assignment?
A new job title can leave a lot open to interpretation. Are you supposed to compile information, develop a recommendation, or make decisions on your own? Who can help you with technical questions? Which decisions are still the responsibility of someone else?
Define the scope in concrete terms so that it can be identified by specific tasks. “Preparing for the meeting and identifying outstanding issues” is a different task than “being the only one who knows the solution to every possible problem.” Sometimes, part of the uncertainty arises precisely because you’re placing that additional burden on yourself.
If you truly lack a qualification or the necessary training, you need to find a solution. Nor is being given responsibility without the appropriate authority a sign of a lack of self-confidence. You have the right to demand that certain prerequisites be met or to set reasonable limits on an assignment. Inner work should not lead you to simply put up with a role that is objectively untenable.
New to the role doesn’t mean new to the subject
Look at what you can already contribute. What tasks have you handled reliably so far? Where do you have a good grasp of the data or the context? And what part is truly new? These questions paint a clearer picture than comparing yourself to someone who has been in the same role for years.
Perhaps you need to learn how to structure a presentation, even though your subject matter expertise is already sufficient. In that case, it’s a limited learning task. The statement “I’m not good enough for this,” on the other hand, turns it into a judgment about your overall suitability.
New responsibilities also don’t require you to provide every answer on your own. You can advocate for a recommendation and openly acknowledge what information is still missing. Asking a specific follow-up question is different from passing the entire responsibility back as a precaution.
Whether your withdrawal is based on objective reasons or driven by self-deprecation cannot be determined solely by the unpleasant feeling. Examine the actual task and your reaction to it separately. Both may require your attention at the same time.
The moment when you want to cross your name off the list again
After things have been clarified, perhaps one thought remains: The colleague should handle it. What triggers this thought? Seeing your own name alongside the responsibility? The idea of justifying a recommendation with your professional assessment? Or the expectation that you won’t be able to answer a follow-up question right away?
Identify the specific moment when you feel yourself shrinking back inside. In the sample project plan, you see your name and think, “I’m not good enough for this.” This is accompanied by insecurity, tense shoulders, and the desire to give up the role. This description is more precise than “I need to become more self-confident.”
You don’t need to assume there’s a childhood story behind it. A past experience may play a role, but it doesn’t have to be identified. Even the current shift from supporting others to taking responsibility can be clear enough to help you reflect on your experience in this context.
Work with the stress; don’t sugarcoat the situation
EMDR and trauma therapist Thomas Buhl’s unique six-step approach begins with a chosen topic and the emotional and physical experience associated with it. In your situation, this could be focusing specifically on your new responsibilities. As the process continues, this point of reference is combined with bilateral stimulation.
EMDR self-coaching focuses here on the stress that arises from taking on responsibility. It does not certify your competence, nor does it obligate you to accept the assignment. Even after any potential relief from this burden, you must continue to objectively assess your learning needs, responsibilities, and available support.
For self-administered EMDR, a limited, non-pathological everyday issue is a prerequisite. Use only a procedure you have fully mastered and a setting where you have sufficient time. If you feel overwhelmed, you can stop and seek professional help. Highly distressing memories or persistent, significant limitations require professional support.
You also don’t have to work through every uncertainty before you’re allowed to take on a new role. Self-coaching is a potential source of support—it’s not a suitability test, nor is it an additional professional obligation.
Take on a clearly defined share of the responsibility
For the first discussion, you could note down what recommendation you’ve drawn from the available information and what unanswered questions you still have. This will make your contribution more specific. You don’t have to act like the most experienced person in the room.
Agree on appropriate consultation without automatically relinquishing responsibility. A limited task allows you to see what you’re already capable of and where you need support. Your name on the project plan need not be a promise of absolute certainty, nor is it a mistake. It signifies a clearly defined assignment that you’ll tackle using your existing skills and the agreed-upon support.
