Repeated procrastination may stem from the fact that a task evokes unpleasant expectations, and putting it off provides temporary relief. Past criticism or humiliating experiences may play a role here; however, they do not explain every instance of procrastination. In addition to today’s work conditions, it is therefore worth considering learned avoidance strategies. EMDR self-coaching offers a potential pathway to addressing a specific, vividly recalled experience of devaluation and the stress that arises today when facing a similar task—particularly when dealing with manageable everyday issues.
You have a task ahead of you that you’ve actually mastered. But as soon as you’re asked to come up with your own solution, you want to put it off. Maybe you remember a past situation: You’d put in a lot of effort, someone pointed out a mistake, and suddenly your whole effort was for nothing. Today’s task is different. Still, the prospect of finding yourself in that same situation again feels all too familiar.
You tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow. For a moment, it feels easier. This small difference between the tension you feel before the task and the relief you feel after putting it off can help you understand why you keep putting things off.
Why Something That Becomes a Burden Later On Can Provide Relief at First
In his book, Thomas Buhl describes protective and avoidance reactions as a possible explanation for restricted behavior. In this model, a current demand may be linked to past traumatic experiences. You may then be avoiding not only the work itself, but also the feelings you associate with it.
Applied to procrastination, this means: Not working out a proposal just yet also keeps the expected criticism at bay. The task remains unfinished, but you don’t have to deal with the possibility of being criticized right now. It is precisely this immediate relief that can make avoidance appealing, even though you’re aware of its long-term drawbacks.
Over time, another reason may come into play: Now you also feel ashamed for having waited so long. The original fear and the backlog weigh on you together. This explains how the pattern might have developed, without inferring from it a fixed trait such as laziness or a lack of willpower.
Past experiences are a possible factor, not a definitive explanation
What are the possible causes of procrastination in childhood? If a person’s own efforts were frequently dismissed, it may seem understandable that they would later hold back from presenting unfinished work. Thomas Buhl’s explanatory model addresses such connections between experience, evaluation, and defensive reactions. However, it does not provide evidence that your current tendency to procrastinate stems from a specific childhood situation.
Later experiences can also be significant. A disparaging comment received during training or a failed personal attempt may be a more immediate cause than an early memory. Similarly, current circumstances may be enough: too much work, an unclear assignment, or a lack of knowledge. A hidden past doesn’t necessarily have to be to blame.
It would therefore be premature to conclude that “I procrastinate a lot” is caused by trauma. A familiar physical reaction also doesn’t prove any specific cause. If you don’t have a relevant memory, the question remains open. You don’t need to find a story that explains the procrastination in hindsight.
What is really similar between then and now?
If you remember a particular situation clearly anyway, it’s worth taking a step back and distinguishing between the two. What actually happened back then? What do you expect today? Perhaps a single mistake at the time was used as an excuse to question your abilities as a whole. Today, you anticipate the same judgment even as you’re working out a proposal.
So the similarity might lie less in the task itself than in the fact that one’s own attempt will be evaluated. At the same time, there are differences: different people, different requirements, more experience, or the opportunity to ask questions. These differences should remain visible, even if the old expectation still feels convincing.
This makes it clearer what you’re avoiding. “I put off difficult things” would be too vague. “As soon as my own suggestion might be evaluated, I expect to be humiliated” describes a possible connection. It remains a personal observation and does not become a general explanation of your life story.
A Perceived Devaluation as a Limited Issue
One possible point of reference for this inner work is a clearly remembered piece of feedback, along with your current reaction to it: You think about the mistake you made back then, feel shame, and notice, for example, a tightening in your stomach. When you think about a similar task you’re facing now, the same impulse to withdraw arises. Just observe what’s actually there.
EMDR and trauma therapist Thomas Buhl has developed his own six-step self-coaching approach for such limited, everyday issues. This approach combines the issue, emotion, and bodily sensations with bilateral stimulation, particularly guided eye movements. The work focuses on the distress caused by the scene; it does not confirm any presumed cause.
Anyone who wants to use EMDR on their own needs to have fully mastered the procedure and to address an issue that is not pathological and remains manageable. Buhl’s book and tutorial explain the procedure and its limitations. A distressing memory should not be intentionally intensified. If you feel overwhelmed, stop the session and seek professional help; traumatic content should be addressed with professional guidance.
Understanding the causes may remain an open question
EMDR self-treatment focuses on the distress caused by the chosen scene. You don’t need to be able to explain where each reaction comes from. A clearly remembered, manageable scene is sufficient as a point of reference; if you don’t have such a memory, you don’t need to reconstruct one. If you continue to experience significant limitations, it’s advisable to seek professional evaluation.
Perhaps you now have a better understanding of what postponing the task is meant to protect you from in the short term. This doesn’t necessarily result in a finished plan for change. However, it does help you distinguish between two things: What difficulty lies in the task itself today, and what stressful expectations are you bringing to it? Both deserve an appropriate response.
